tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34161082011-04-21T17:41:42.365-05:00roman_a_clefFrench: literally a novel with a key; novel in which real persons or actual events figure under disguisedossierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756950280629441922noreply@blogger.comBlogger371100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3416108.post-1155858573073907362006-08-17T18:49:00.000-05:002006-08-17T18:49:33.160-05:00David Hewlett blog about A Dog's Breakfast. Haven't a hope of seeing it here in the hinterlands, but hope springs eternal!dossierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756950280629441922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3416108.post-1089810105422890552004-07-14T08:01:00.000-05:002004-07-14T08:01:45.423-05:00dossier's smart ass web pageHave made some minor updates to the site!
Well, it's been a while since I updated here. All of May was a total disaster. The generator chose to fail the same week as that UPS, and would start up at any change in voltage, not just when the city power stopped. Not a problem? Sheeeeyaah. When it starts, it cuts off city power and supplies its own power, which meansdossierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756950280629441922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3416108.post-1083210091490097692004-04-28T22:41:00.000-05:002004-04-28T22:44:36.793-05:00Had some excitement at work today. (please note the ironic tone). I got a call around 10:30, saying that the second floor was smelling smoke, and could I please go check? (Like I'm the one wearing the fire-retardant bunny suit. Not.) I trot down there, and unlock the cold room door, only to find the room indeed is filled with acrid, bitter smoke, but can't see any flames shooting out from dossierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756950280629441922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3416108.post-1081556179724362452004-04-09T19:16:00.000-05:002004-04-09T19:19:06.153-05:00dossier's smart ass webpage
Heh. discovered the blogger tool on the google toolbar--this makes it much easier to post & publish. I guess I'm more likely to spam the blog this way.
This week marked my jumping into the shark tank that is QA programming. I loaded all the tools and discovered that my PC didn't wan't to run the programs, and further more, I couldn't log into the Citrix server indossierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756950280629441922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3416108.post-1080075471592798652004-03-23T14:57:00.000-06:002004-03-23T15:00:20.280-06:00I had a chest/abdomen/pelvis CAT scan today, and everything is fine, looks good. It's been almost exactly two years since my initial diagnosis, and this was my 18 month check up. Weird how all of that was only 6 months in length, but then again I could be re-compressing it, because it certainly seemed like longer than 6 months!
dossierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756950280629441922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3416108.post-1079911092130553532004-03-21T17:18:00.001-06:002008-04-24T06:31:53.513-05:00hola and welcome! been a while since I posted, but I figured, hey, it's about time. Most of my journal stuff has gone into LJ, but I don't really publicize that. Too many perverts {g} over there.I did indeed buy a house, then went broke renovating it. We've been here just a year now. The family came and visited for Spring Break last year, then my niece E came to visit a few times. Sister S dossierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756950280629441922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3416108.post-833229112002-10-21T18:52:00.000-05:002002-10-21T18:52:34.750-05:00
Subject: Cautiously optimistic
Chris is doing MUCH better today, he's responding rather than being obtuse and rebellious. the folks at the psych ward are making a difference, and have been very open to suggestions I've made about our family history of alcohol abuse and depression, as well as some skills that Chris already exhibits in the way of career counseling.
But, I can't make this dossierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756950280629441922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3416108.post-833228602002-10-21T18:51:00.000-05:002002-10-21T18:51:33.513-05:00Date: 2002-10-20 11:28
Subject: what a fucking day
I got up this morning and the house looked like a bloodbath. I'm not kidding- there was blood everywhere. Boy Unit had slit his wrist and thumb, then crashed around before going to bed about 3AM. When I went into his room, there was a puddle of blood next to his bed, but he woke up. The ER put stitches in, about 15 in all, and then promptly dossierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756950280629441922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3416108.post-818473182002-09-19T19:41:00.000-05:002002-09-19T19:41:11.136-05:00Well, the day has come at last, I have been declared as Cured.
I went to the oncologist on Wednesday, for what I thought was a routine visit prior to receiving Chemotherapy. The usual bloodletting went on, and he asked me how I was, the usual questions. I have been feeling very good, (last months' fiasco notwithstanding) and I knew the tests were showing very positive results. I inquired ifdossierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756950280629441922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3416108.post-813193402002-09-08T12:38:00.000-05:002002-09-08T12:38:17.310-05:00
Ah, where do I begin? Let's break a trend and go with the ending.
I'm home in Little Rock, Boy Unit is snoozing in the recliner next to me like a grungy cat and there is only one more day of moving and packing. Whew—I can tell you there were days in the last week, nay fortnight, that I thought gasoline and matches were the answer.
I had known for a month or two that C wanted to come live dossierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756950280629441922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3416108.post-806988762002-08-25T15:27:00.000-05:002002-08-25T15:27:16.800-05:00I finally hit bottom, physically and emotionally. While at the doctors' office on Thursday getting a booster shot there was some minor confusion over my chart (again) and I had a nuclear meltdown and had to flee the office in tears. I didn't tell anyone I was leaving, I just picked up my keys to go. Where did I go? The office. Not home where I could boohoo in private, but to the office becausedossierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756950280629441922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3416108.post-798898872002-08-06T08:39:00.000-05:002002-08-06T08:39:13.690-05:00Aha, chemo therapy. Who would have thought that someone could be happy to have 900mg of toxic chemicals dumped into them? Heh. All things considered I feel good, despite 3 hours sleep.
The steroids kicked in about 200AM, or the Benedryl wore off, I and have spent two hours of the early morning downloading songs, finding lyrics, burning CD's. I got my Smallville DVD today—I had to order it dossierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756950280629441922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3416108.post-797818772002-08-03T15:04:00.000-05:002002-08-03T15:04:42.550-05:00I didn't do chemo on Thursday, as my WBC was even lower than it was on Monday prior. They scared me on Friday morning—I got a call from the lab at 800am and they asked me to come back in and give them some more blood, as the sample they had drawn on Thursday AM had hemolyzed and the red cells wouldn't precipitate out. I'm still trying to figure out what that really means.
J and I talked at dossierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756950280629441922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3416108.post-796690102002-07-31T21:43:00.000-05:002002-07-31T21:59:25.000-05:00
Chemo in the morning, or at least I'll go in and see if the counts have come up enough. I've been living clean, trying to eat better and stuff, so I hope that helps. If it doesn't I'm going back to my old bad habits.
Boy Unit is in charge of getting the house ready to sell. Do you know how scary that is? I have to just figure out how to juggle that, get him moved, the house sold, get dossierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756950280629441922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3416108.post-795264002002-07-28T19:32:00.000-05:002002-07-28T19:32:55.016-05:00July 27, 2002
I have a thing about pens. I am still faintly grieving for my pen that the clerk at Office Depot gave me when I told him what a wonderful pen it was. I kept it for nearly 2 months before it got walked away with or left somewhere, but damn I liked that pen! I've been looking for a replacement since the beginning of May. I tried a Pentel, went back to the American Airlines dossierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756950280629441922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3416108.post-788389622002-07-11T18:12:00.000-05:002002-07-11T18:12:10.320-05:00the elusive neighbor stopped by today to see how I was doing. Of course I didn't tell him that I was much better now that he had stopped in. We chatted about health, his and mine, his tomato plants and now-dead marijane (apparently it doesn't like Miracle Gro much). He's had a recent hair cut (darn the bad luck)but his eyes are as interesting as ever, pale blue, almost white they are so pale.
dossierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756950280629441922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3416108.post-786177552002-07-06T09:59:00.000-05:002002-07-06T09:59:47.690-05:00Chemo at last. The doctor didn't want to wait any longer, and since the white blood count actually fell again from 2.9 to 2.6 (lower than before!) he decided that it was more important to get on with the chemo, don't give the cancer a chance. Friday I got a shot of Nupegin,(sp?) a short acting accelerator that doesn't interfere with Chemo, and tomorrow I go in for a chemo treatment. The fact dossierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756950280629441922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3416108.post-783503482002-06-29T09:13:00.000-05:002002-06-29T09:13:39.143-05:00Well, first snag in the plan. I didn't get to take chemotherapy this week because my white blood cell count (WBC) is too low and it would be dangerous to proceed. It's at 2.70 and they want to wait and see if it will rise on its own naturally.
See if I can grow my own anymore.
So, I go back on Tuesday, have it checked again, and possibly get chemo on that day if it has returned to some dossierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756950280629441922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3416108.post-783500692002-06-29T08:58:00.000-05:002002-07-27T08:31:11.000-05:00snip duplicate dossierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756950280629441922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3416108.post-780643032002-06-22T09:43:00.000-05:002002-06-22T09:44:59.000-05:00I got a note from K inquiring how I was doing, and a semi-stern reminder that I had gone too long in updating my diary here. I warned him that I was going to just lift the text of my minorly expurgated reply and put it here…
'Oh, not very much as usual-- it's been kind of hot here this week.
'No update on the journal, cuz nothing's happening. I've spent the last 5 weeks at home, reading dossierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756950280629441922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3416108.post-770659262002-05-28T10:43:00.000-05:002002-05-28T10:46:32.000-05:00My brain is finally my own again. If I ever had any inkling to start abusing triple signature narcotics, this little round about with Mexafen (?) has cured me completely. I was very glad to have it the first 36 hours after surgery, but it became more a problem then a solution by Friday night. I was nauseous, lethargic, and sedated. I know that was kind of the point, eh? On Saturday morning, dossierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756950280629441922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3416108.post-765644042002-05-14T23:13:00.000-05:002002-05-14T23:13:13.843-05:00So, the eve of the eve of surgery. I've put the mailing lists on hold, and as usual I feel woefully unprepared. It's only for a few days that I'm going to be out of circulation, but it feels like a brick wall that I can't see around; despite that the surgery itself is not that much more involved than a hysterectomy. Been there, done that, gotta picture. Speaking of which, Dr. B said he'd take adossierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756950280629441922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3416108.post-764332822002-05-11T12:11:00.000-05:002002-05-11T12:11:59.580-05:00 weird thing happened thursday night-- A guy who was walking in front of my house got mugged for 3 subway sandwiches. It was teenagers, and Im sure they thought it was a lark; I'm glad I have a dog that very vocal. I guess this means I should start locking the doors?
from the 9th of May
I’m starting to lose my focus here at work, I have like three days left, and it’s hard to concentrate dossierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756950280629441922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3416108.post-761579092002-05-04T12:34:00.000-05:002002-05-04T12:34:50.056-05:00today we have a guest blog. this is a letter I got from a friend, and it was so moving I thought I would share it. Yes she said OK. It really contains some food for thought (pun intended) about what we eat and the problems it can cause.
***||***
Hi Doss,
Well, many thanks for the link to your blog.....yes, it made me weep a bit....I have nothing like your problems, but I know the fear anddossierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756950280629441922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3416108.post-759885872002-04-29T22:46:00.000-05:002002-04-29T22:46:47.456-05:00Well, that was fucking depressing. The Life and Times of ovarian cancer's most famous victim—Gilda Radner. Of course it was on TV and of course I had to watch it, just to remind myself how utterly desperate the situation is.
Sometimes it's hard to remember I'm sick and possibly dying. Like last week, I felt great. I had things to worry about other than me, and my hair hadn't fallen out, so dossierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756950280629441922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3416108.post-758712532002-04-26T21:52:00.000-05:002002-04-26T21:52:20.420-05:00Thursday was bad. I had counted on my appointment with the Oncologist & chemo being for Friday, then the receptionist realized my faux pas—I had told her I'd see her Friday. She called me Thursday AM to remind me that I was wrong—it was a day early! I went in and of course Dr. Nair hadn't had a chance to have a conversation with Dr. Bard—and I cooled my heels for 45 minutes while they didn't dossierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756950280629441922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3416108.post-756833182002-04-22T07:42:00.000-05:002002-04-22T07:42:46.803-05:00Well what a busy week I've had. Chris required surgery for his indirect inguinal hernia, so I hopped in the car and drove to Houston, dogs and all. Jay had flown in so he beat me there, so Chris had someone to hold his hand prior; I arrived after. I discovered then that he had quit his job—15 hour days driving 2500 miles a week for what netted out to be 5.00 an hour: it just wasn't paying the dossierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756950280629441922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3416108.post-754040282002-04-14T19:34:00.000-05:002002-04-14T19:34:46.070-05:00Ah, Sunday. It is an absolutely gorgeous day. I have all the doors thrown wide open, the sun is shining, a gentle breeze is blowing. It could not be a more perfect Spring day. The pollen is terrible—I have never seen it like this! My car is literally covered in yellow, as is anything that is stationary for more than an hour. Ick.
When it rains it pours. Boy Unit called me yesterday with dossierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756950280629441922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3416108.post-752430052002-04-10T07:38:00.000-05:002002-04-10T07:38:29.986-05:00Just a short one today.
Chemo kicked my ass. I have been barely mobile since Sunday, though the Vicodan 'script helped tremendously. The worst is the bones aching deep deep down-- my feet hurt and walking much of anywhere is tough.
Despite this, I'm off for another round of tests today, CT scans and ultrasounds of the lower abdomen this time. The goal is to locate the rest of the cancer.dossierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756950280629441922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3416108.post-751061722002-04-06T09:23:00.000-06:002002-04-06T09:23:22.206-06:00I had my first chemo yesterday and so far only a little nausea as I hadn't eaten, and a minor bout of diarrhea, (eeyyew!) It took 5 and half hours, only 3 longer than I had been told. It was not at all bad; the lady that managed to get the IV inserted had the most gorgeous green eyes, like J's. I had a bag of Tagamet and Decadron (Tagamet is actually a histamine blocker too) and a flush with dossierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756950280629441922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3416108.post-114598692002-04-04T12:34:00.000-06:002002-04-04T12:34:46.570-06:00OK, the dreading part is over—I have cancer, and it's probably ovarian cancer to boot. The pathology on the liver mass was adenocarcinoma—the good news is that ovarian cancer responds very well to chemotherapy, which I start tomorrow.
I'll get two treatments of chemo; I'll see a gynecologist next week and then a have a CT scan of the abdomen and a consult with the other surgeon. I'll have dossierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756950280629441922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3416108.post-113658882002-04-01T22:36:00.000-06:002002-04-01T22:36:21.150-06:00Ah, the eve of destruction or salvation. Let the tests begin, I say. Susie says the lesions are small, and there is only one that appears to be in a position that would be suitable for a fine needle biopsy. We'll just have to see.
I talked to Sibling Units 1 & 4 today and my aunt as well. There is a slow trickle of replies to the emails I dreaded sending out, and the folks I expected to dossierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756950280629441922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3416108.post-112839762002-03-30T12:32:00.000-06:002002-03-30T12:32:38.720-06:00I finally broke down and started telling people about my travails. I chickened out and sent emails—it was much easier than having 20 tear-stained conversations that could have no conclusion; makes it easier for the person at the other end to react in whatever way they feel appropriate without having to deal with me, too. I suspect that there will be a flood of replies murmuring the right things,dossierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756950280629441922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3416108.post-112351542002-03-28T21:40:00.000-06:002002-03-29T21:16:16.000-06:00The only way to describe the news from the doctor after my first visit is guardedly not pessimistic. He thinks if it was cancer it would be a very very slow growing type, since the MRI actually shows the lesions as being smaller than the Ultrasound did. Meaning what ever they are, they haven’t grown at all in 3 months. So that is sort of good news. I still go for a biopsy and a chest CT—I had dossierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756950280629441922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3416108.post-112092632002-03-28T06:54:00.000-06:002002-03-28T06:55:16.000-06:00Finally, back to Today, with the blog set the way I want it--took 2 days of them being down, or me being occupied in other frippery. I made a little web page yesterday that made me happy-- bimbo girl. The wav file I find so hilarious. I've had it for years and I managed to keep it through 2 crashes and the move. I wanted to think about something innocuous for a while.
I'm off to see Dr. dossierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756950280629441922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3416108.post-112085912002-03-28T06:14:00.000-06:002002-03-28T06:14:34.373-06:00from 25MAR02
Woke up this morning thinking about the little aches and pains I had ignored over the last half year. Prone to ulcers, so I ignored those little twinges here and there, because I was like, ya know, working 70 hours a week trying to keep my head above water after the 9/11 thing. Could have been nothing—still don't really know anything except: lesions too numerous to count worrisome dossierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756950280629441922noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3416108.post-112085142002-03-28T06:09:00.000-06:002002-03-28T06:12:40.000-06:00from 24MAR02
This is the beginning of a journey.
The road will be long and torturous, filled with pitfalls, pratfalls and waterfalls. There will be side trips, too—down the long dusty hallways of time, and perhaps a flight of fancy on occasion. I know I walk it alone, but it's my hope that I can con you into keeping me company here and there. I also do not know how long this road is, either.
dossierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04756950280629441922noreply@blogger.com0